June 10, 2004
What's The Deal?

Okay, I know a lot of you felt pretty confused and bewildered by the last update, and that's totally understandable. You were probably wondering what in the hell was going through my mind when I decided to post that. After reading the emails I received shortly after posting yesterday's totally awesome update, I feel like I should clarify something.

A number of people seemed perplexed that I didn't include peanut butter and jelly on my sandwich list. Please, allow me to explain. I know this will result in me being drawn and quartered by an angry mob of sandwich loyalists, but I don't really care for PB&J sandwiches that much. They just don't do it for me. I suppose if I were really hungry, and the only food in the entire house was a jar of peanut butter, a jar of jelly, and let's say a loaf of bread, then I could see myself preparing and consuming a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in order to sustain my existence. But in no way, shape or form does PB&J belong amongst the pantheon of great sandwiches mentioned in yesterday's update. Maybe if I were listing my top 100 favorite sandwiches, PB&J would make the cut, just underneath the Cap'n Crunch and sugar sandwich prepared by Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club. But in the top ten? I think not! However, it's a free country (assuming you're reading this in the good ol' USA and not some impoverished third world country like Uganda or Australia), and you'd be well within your legal right to create your own Top Ten Sandwiches list and include PB&J in any spot on that list. Any spot except #1 of course, as that is reserved solely for the Philly cheesesteak. That's not my opinion, it's a fact. I'm pretty sure it's in the Bible somewhere.

Now that that important matter has been cleared up, a self-confessed "frequent visitor" to this site, let's just call him "Tony" since that's what his name is, was nice enough (or at least bored enough) to enlighten me regarding a sandwich that I've yet to get my greasy hands on.

Down in the greasy city of New Orleans, home of Karl Malone, Jackie Chan and Jake "The Snake" Roberts, there is allegedly a popular sandwich called the Po'Boy. I've yet to actually make it down that way myself, but it seems that if one were to go into an eating establishment in New Orleans and ask for a sub, a hoagie, or a grinder, they would immediately be kicked in the groin and thrown out onto the sidewalk, where they would then be de-pantsed and beaten mercilessly with bamboo sticks. Instead, the proper thing to ask for would be a Po'Boy. According to what I read on the Internet, and it's never wrong, Po'Boy sandwiches are known to contain such exotic fillings as roast beef, shrimp, oysters, ham, gravy, and more roast beef. In some of the really fancy joints you can even get Po'Boys with duck, catfish, horse, armadillo, and llama meat.

As I said approximately 120 words ago, I have yet to experience the mind-bending wonders of New Orleans first-hand, since I suck, but in the event that I ever somehow find myself there in a drug-induced haze, I'll be sure to try one of these Po'Boy sandwich (with extra horse please). If it's as good as the Internet and "Tony" would have me believe, then I will update my Top Ten sandwiches list and post it here for you all to behold. This is my promise to you that I will probably forget about by tomorrow.

Your "friend",

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