October 24, 2005
Okay, that does it, I've just about had it with all the bullshit I've been getting from you people. Day in and day out, it's nothing but bitch, bitch, bitch. Nothing I do is good enough. I worked my goddamned fingers to the bone to create top-notch, quality entertainment for Nine Inch Nails fans, and what do I get in return? A big steaming pile of jack shit. Well, I think I've put up with it too long, and I'm not going to anymore. Fuck you guys, I fucking quit!
Let's start from the beginning, shall we? Leviathant offered me this column back in August 1999, and silly me, I guess I just assumed there'd be money involved. So I said "sure, I'll write for your website!" But you know, here we are, over six years later, and I've yet to receive cent one from that motherfucker. SIX FUCKING YEARS! I know Interscope is sending him fat checks all the time for all the "work" he does for the Hotline (whatever that is), but God forbid he actually share any of that with me! I'm the one that's kept this website going, not him. I'M the star here. But hey, whatever, I guess it's my fault for not reading the fine print. I know better now!
Not only am I not getting paid for my invaluable contributions, but I'm also getting disrespected by the people who read the Hotline! That's right, YOU. I posted news the other day about the Fort Lauderdale show being called off, and YOU FUCKING UNGRATEFUL ASSHOLES DIDN'T EVEN BELIEVE ME. Well YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELVES!!! You think I'd post that news if it wasn't totally legit?! I've taken my (also unpaid) job as a NIN Hotline News Reporter VERY FUCKING SERIOUSLY, and I'll be GODDAMNED if I'm going to put any false information on the front page! Here I am, trying to help you guys out by sharing this breaking news with you, and you actually have the fucking GALL to question it!! Well, don't worry, you won't be getting any more news from me! I'm outta here! I have better things to do than waste my time on this piece of shit website!
And don't even get me started on the mistreatment I get from the band! What do I have to do to get some attention around here?! Would it kill Trent to fucking acknowledge all the publicity I've given him FOR FREE?!? Who the hell does he think he is? Plus, I know for a FACT that I have way more talent and skill than that guy Rob he hired. That retard couldn't design his way out of a wet paper bag. I keep sending in my fucking resume, and they never even respond! I mean, I could understand if I was just some random anonymous fan, but I'm Meathead! THE MEATHEAD! And they just ignore me! What the fuck? Hey Trent, maybe more people would actually give a shit about your new album if you had a half-decent website! Idiot. But even if he has his head so far up his ass that he won't hire me, is it too much to ask for at least a measly fucking mention in the liner notes or something? Oh, okay, they linked to me on their "Resources" page. Whoop-dee-FUCKING-doo. Jesus Christ, I think I deserve a LITTLE more than that. Trent has taken my work for granted far too long. No more!
I was willing to even let that slide, because I'm such a hell of a nice guy I guess. But then here comes that stupid goddamned fan club. I assumed I'd be given a free membership, since it's the absolute least they could do, but nope! No free membership for Meathead! I have to PAY just like all the regular people! So I swallow my pride and fork over $30 of my hard-earned money. Why I did that, I'll never know. Great, now I have access to their stupid message board, where I made the naive assumption I'd be given administrator status. But I'm just a regular member! Well, technically I'm a "moderator" in that one crappy useless forum at the VERY BOTTOM OF THE PAGE. What a fucking slap in the face. And of course, Trent has yet to respond to any of my questions. I think my questions take just a LITTLE more priority over everyone else's stupid posts. I swear, it's as if I don't even exist. Well FUCK YOU GUYS THEN. And WHERE THE FUCK IS MY WELCOME PACKAGE?! It's been almost a fucking MONTH since I signed up for this stupid thing!!! You know what, whenever it gets here, IF it gets here, I'm just going to RIP IT UP!!! I don't want the stupid lyrics poster anymore! I'm going to wipe my ass with it! I'll tell you "right where it belongs," in the fucking dumpster! Right with all the NIN CD's I plan to throw out!
I fucking paid out the ass to get tickets for these NIN shows coming up, but FUCK IT, I'm selling them, and you bet your ass I'm scalping them for as much as I can. Like I give a fuck about your stupid concerts. I don't know why I even planned on going to more than one show anyway, since THE SETLIST NEVER FUCKING CHANGES. EVERY SHOW IS EXACTLY THE SAME LALALALALA!!!!! Don't strain yourself trying to make the show interesting, Trent! Oh, right, you had to replace your drummer. So that's OUR problem now? Whatever.
I don't need this shit. I've been your little dancing monkey boy for way too long, and I've finally had enough. You can find someone else to abuse from now on, because I QUIT!!!!!!
Anybody want to take over this page for me? Be my fucking guest! It's your funeral! I'm done with Nine Inch Nails! I'm going to direct my energy toward a band that actually gives a shit about their fans, like TOOL and Dave Matthews Band. And I'll be bigger than EVER!
And yes, I am 100% SERIOUS, in case you're thinking this is just another one of my stupid jokes. I am FED THE FUCK UP with this, and I can't believe I actually wasted six years of my life for nothing. Sorry for any typos or whatever, but I'm practically in tears right now, I'm so fucking angry...
FUCK THE NIN HOTLINE, FUCK NINE INCH NAILS, FUCK TRENT REZNOR, FUCK "WITH_TEETH", and most of all, FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!
Bye (FOR THE LAST TIME),