February 16, 2005
A Bad Apple

As was mentioned on The NIN Hotcake sometime in the relatively recent past, somewhere in between today and the assassination of Jerry Garcia, there is an article on that gossips on the behavior of various celebrities who have patronized Apple Store locations in the general Los Angeles area. They also mention our hero, Trent Reznor (NIN). According to Apple employees, Trent is disarmingly friendly and smells of fresh-cut daffodils, despite numerous eyewitness accounts of him screaming such things as "I hate everyone," "Your god is dead," and "I didn't ask for blueberries on my waffles, you stupid bitch."

"Trent Reznor is 'super nice' and is always buying gifts for his band."

Obviously, these people at the Apple Store are lying bastards. Either that or they've simply gotten Trent confused with someone else, like John Cusack or the Harry Potter guy. But I think they're just lying. I don't know why they would, but I really don't trust those Apple people. I mean, really, like Trent gives enough of a shit about his underlings that he would actually buy things for them. If anything, they probably have to pay him just to be in the band.

Anyway, the other day I was sitting around practicing Tai Chi, or whatever the hell it is I do all day, when I realized I haven't made any shitty Flash cartoons for this website in a while. Of course, any reasonable person would understand that that's no justification to make a new one, but I made one anyway because I'm kinda stupid. I wanted to show the world (or at least 0.000000000001% of the world) how Trent Reznor really acts when he makes an appearance at the Apple Store. It's not pretty, folks. Click the little doodad below to see for yourself.

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