April 27, 2003
Nanoseconds Of Pants-Filling Excitement

In celebration of the mind-numbingly dull drought of NIN news, I'm deeply ashamed proud to present the latest in the hot trend of computer simulation games. In this game, instead of controlling a dysfunctional, unemployed family who can't keep their kitchen from catching fire twice a day, or managing a filthy city full of people who despise you and feel compelled to riot every ten minutes, this time you get to experience what it's like to be goth god Trent Reznor! I've tried to include as much detail as possible in order to maximize the level of realism, and I think it turned out pretty well. It's almost scary how closely I've managed to replicate Trent's day-to-day life. I hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed Flash crashing five hundred times while I was trying to make this piece of crap.

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