February 12, 2001
If you've been taking your medication and paying attention to the Nine Inch Nails news lately, you may have heard about a certain mentally-challenged individual from North Carolina who enjoys pretending to be Danny Lohner and spreading false rumors about NIN while performing at shows with his crappy band.
Personally, I find the idea that someone would deliberately attempt to fool others by claiming to be Danny Lohner, or any Nine Inch Nails person, quite disturbing, but not as disturbing as the idea that people would actually believe that the impostor is for real without their judgment being impaired by hard liquor and quaaludes. Apparently, however, this is the case.
When I read about the false Lohner and his unholy web of lies and deception, I realized that I must inform others of this horrid man immediately, in order to prevent such atrocities from happening again in the future. Well, actually I forgot about it for a couple of weeks and made fun of Trent Reznor for something else, but then I remembered it again and decided I might as well go ahead and write some dumb bullshit about it.
As you all know, the sole purpose and intent of The Meathead Perspective is to provide the public with current, in-depth information that most NIN news sites don't bother to mention. While the Danny Lohner impostor has been mentioned on other sites, I have decided to take it one step further by informing NIN fans how to avoid falling prey to fake Nine Inch Nails.
No, you're not seeing double... One of the above Trent Reznors is an impostor! Take a moment and see if you can pick out which one is the bastard wannabe Trent.
If you chose B, you're right! If you chose A, please click the X in the upper right corner of your screen and never visit this site again.
To those of you who did choose B, either you just guessed, or you're getting smarter! Did you pick out the tell-tale signs the impostor gave away? Let's look at the facts:
• Trent Reznor A is screaming into a microphone, like the real Trent Reznor does.
• Trent Reznor B is holding a cup of soda in his right hand, whereas the real Trent Reznor would be holding a bottle of beer.
• Trent Reznor B is wearing a Rod Stewart T-shirt, while the real Trent Reznor only wears his Rod Stewart T-shirt when the cameras are off.
• Trent Reznor A is a real, living person, while Trent Reznor B is a crappy drawing I made with Paintbrush.
By now you should be getting the hang of this. I'm going to assume that you now know how to differentiate between the real Nine Inch Nails and the fake ones. But don't go anywhere, I'm not done with you yet.
Spotting an impostor is only the first step, however.. Now let's learn how to properly deal with these cretins in a quick, effective manner.
1. Confront the NIN impostor.
2. Attack the NIN impostor.
3. Take down the NIN impostor.
4. Use good judgment.
Well, kids, I hope you've learned something from today's lesson. Always keep your eyes open, and don't believe someone just because they vaguely look like Robin Finck when you squint. Bye for now!