October 11, 2000
Oh, The Humanity!

Folks, it's time for us to come to terms with the fact that the long-awaited NIN remix album, Things Falling Apart, has been delayed until November 21. I'm sure many of you are now feeling angry, frightened, sad, homicidal... believe me, I feel your pain.

The last thing we, as people who listen to Nine Inch Nails, should do is panic over this situation. Well, actually, the last thing we should do is listen to or associate in any way with Radiant Decay: A Tribute To Nine Inch Nails. But besides that, the last we should do is panic. It may be difficult to go on after hearing this news (if you have the mental capacity of a two-year-old), but fret not, for the Meathead Perspective is here to help alleviate these feelings of frustration and distress.

Here's an idea!

Instead of committing horrible, senseless acts of violence, try getting in touch with your feelings by telling your Reznor Puppet how you feel. Some of you may find that punching and/or strangling the puppet is a slightly more effective way of releasing your pent-up unpleasant feelings regarding the delay.

Go on, let it all out.

Would you like to talk to the real Trent, instead of just a paper bag bearing a striking resemblance to him? Well, you'll get your chance soon when Trent holds his second ever Internet chat! Finally you'll be able to tell him just how the delay of Things Falling Apart has destroyed your life and left you a dead, empty shell of a man/woman. Will the wonders of technology never cease?

Of course, it's important to note that November 21 isn't really that far away. Sure, it would have been nice to be able to look at, play and lick the new CD in two weeks, but that's just the way life goes (particularly the parts of life with NIN logos on them). But hey, the November 21 release still gives you over a month to absorb all the different [version]s before the uprising of the machines and the inevitable destruction of all mankind at the dawn of the third millenium on January 1, 2001.

If you're a really impatient bastard, or just a bastard in general, you can always make your own faux Things Falling Apart tracks for circulation on the Internet. Don't worry, it doesn't take very much skill, as anyone who listens to the fake songs can easily tell. All you really need to know is how to turn on your computer and how to record crappy sounds.

Come on, people, let's get excited, damn it! In order to help you keep track of the time left until Things Falling Apart arrives at a store near you (assuming you live in the United States... everybody does, right?), I have painstakingly drawn up this handy calendar for you to print out, use, and eventually wipe your ass with when you run out of toilet paper. Don't try to use it before November though, or leprosy will fall upon you and your immediate family.

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