September 25, 2000
Come Into Our Home, Won't You Stay?

Whilst reading my electronic mail messages on the computer the other day, I came across this:

From: "Grant Hughes"
Subject: Nothing Studios Tour

G'day Meathead,

Just wondering if you could fill in an avid viewer on a guided tour of the nothing studios. Seeing as though you have such great incite into NIN (ie. Jacuzzi room, room where trent strangles small furry animal to make all those weird sounds on the fragile.)



Well, Grant (if that's your real name), and the other 4 people reading this, it's funny you should ask, because it just so happens that I received this e-mail not too long ago:

From: "Trent Reznor"
Subject: bored

Hey Meathead,

We're all just sittin around here at the studio, bored off our asses. Why don't you drop by the studio for a while and play a couple games of Yahtzee with us or something? Leo promises to keep his hands to himself this time.


Well, after some thought, I decided to accept the invitation and drove down to New Orleans that evening. Here's what went on during my visit!

Upon my arrival, I was greeted by Mr. Reznor and his associates. They were very polite and friendly, and did their best to make sure I was comfortable at all times. I was so excited to finally be able to tour Nothing Studios that the weird smell didn't even really bother me.

Trent took time out of his busy schedule to show me his wide array of fancy recording equipment, and even let me touch a couple of the knobs and buttons. We talked for a little while about music (I still insist Snow is much more talented than Vanilla Ice), and I brought up the question of how he gets all those sounds of his.

"How do you get all those sounds of yours?" I asked.

As far as I know, there is no strangling of furry animals at Nothing Studios to create sounds. Seriously, they're a little bit more upscale than that. Trent escorted me into a different room, where studio guy Keith Hillebrandt demonstrated some of the techniques used to gather the wide array of sounds for The Fragile. Very fascinating stuff.

I was amazed by the amount of efficiency there. Everyone at the studio is given their own specific task in order to keep things running smoothly. Once we were finished pestering Keith, we stopped by keyboardist/engineer Charlie Clouser's room for a bit, where Charlie and his friends were hard at work on an upcoming project.

To my surprise, Trent gave be the honor of letting me take a peek at some lyrics he was writing for his next album. He had been trying to move into a different style of writing, and was a little insecure about the new songs, but I reassured him that they're probably the best stuff he's ever done. I can't wait to hear how they turn out!

At the end of the day, the NIN crew frequently enjoy a long, relaxing soak in the luxurious Nothing jacuzzi room. As much as I would have liked to join in, unfortunately I forgot to bring a bathing suit with me. Leo offered to let me use his, since he wasn't planning on using it anyway, but I respectfully declined.

Finally it was time for me to say goodbye and be on my way. I had a wonderful time "keeping it real" with my Nothing "homeys", but there was other business for me attend to, like feeding my cat and playing Solitaire. They all gave me a warm farewell as I left the studio. I'm not entirely sure why they were dressed up as the Beverly Hillbillies... but, you know, whatever.

And that's the story of my super-cool Nothing Studios experience. I hope you have found this to be informative, entertaining, or at least not too annoying. Peace be with you until we meet again.

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