April 19, 2000
Oh Look, Another Damned Concert Review!

As everybody and their grandmother knows by now, I was blessed with the opportunity to attend Day 1 of the Fragility 2.0 tour in Cleveland, Ohio (no thanks to the Pennsylvania State Highway Patrol.. I was only going 80 for Christ's sake). So, anyway, I told everybody I was going to review the show, so I guess I have to now. Damn you people!

I managed to sneak a crappy disposable camera into the place, but unfortunately the pictures I got didn't turn out too well, probably because it was a crappy disposable camera. So instead I decided to draw pictures of the concert to the best of my memory using Paintbrush. Don't worry, I'm sure you won't even notice the difference.

For some reason, it was really cold outside (hell, maybe it's always cold in Cleveland, I don't know). It's not fun standing outside when it's really windy and cold out, and I probably would have been pretty pissed off if I didn't happen to be standing in line for a NIN show. While we were waiting for the doors to open, we were greeted by some of the friendly Cleveland residents passing by on the street. Finally the doors opened and we were given funky green bracelets and holes in our tickets.


I wish I hadn't eaten before I got there, because once we got inside, I saw that there was an abundance of delicious, healthy food being served at very low, reasonable prices. But since I had already eaten, I decided to pass, and instead just stood around counting people who actually look like this:

When we all went down to the floor, imagine our surprise when we spotted the one and only Keith Hillebrandt standing there, surrounded by hundreds of adoring fans begging for autographs, since everyone there knew who Keith Hillebrandt is and what he looks like.

Finally the lights went off and A Perfect Circle walked onstage. At first I thought Maynard looked different than I remembered (even though I'd only ever seen one picture of the guy), and I was wondering why the hell Julia Roberts was standing up there. But once they started playing, it didn't take me very long to figure out that "Maynard" was actually Billy Howerdel, while the Julia Roberts impostor was the real Maynard, sporting long brown Pantene hair. Those guys are so silly!

Then, when A Perfect Circle was finished, a big scary black curtain was drawn across the entire stage. I figured it was probably because Leo Herrera was up there helping with getting the stage ready and he didn't want me to see him and pick on him. After listening to some cool "ambient jungle techno" music, the lights went out again and Nine Inch Nails started playing "Somewhat Damaged," but they forgot to pull back the curtain throughout the entire song! How embarrassing!

After "Somewhat Damaged," they finally got their act together and did away with the curtain, and then proceeded to play "Terrible Lie." The PFP on this song, as well as the rest of the songs played at the show, was done exceptionally well. They then went into "March of the Pigs," causing the fans to immediately commence beating the crap out of each other. But once the song drew to a close, Trent threw everyone a curve by adding the "All the Pigs, All Lined Up" bit (from the MOtP single), which made the crowd get up and beat the crap out of each other just a little more. Violence is cool!

Instead of using a projector, this time around they're using big-ass LCD screens. Apparently there was one too many instances of people making shadow puppets during Fragility 1.0. I enjoyed the cloud-like effects during "The Wretched," but I'm surprised they didn't use footage from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, from the scene where God appears in the sky. Maybe I'm crazy, but I think that would have fit in perfectly. Am I the only one who thought this?

Since I'm a girly man, I left the pit during "The Mark Has Been Made" and went upstairs to wheeze and gulp water. I went and stood on the upper level to watch as the band finished "Complication" and played "Suck." Then I heard the opening beat of "Closer" start up, and my view was immediately blocked by a group of jumping, giggling 14-year-old girls. After flogging them repeatedly in their heads with my water bottle, I returned to the floor level of the stadium.

They wrapped up the show by playing an encore which included a song they said they'd never played before and would probably never play again. I assumed they meant they were going to play a cover of "Jump" by Kriss Kross, but then I remembered they'd already covered that during David Bowie's Outside tour. Instead, they played "Just Like You Imagined," which was almost as good. Finally they played Starfuckers, Inc and Hurt, and then the lights came back on. Some stuff happened after that, but I'm not going to talk about that right now, because I'm a bastard.

They didn't play Sin or Piggy that night, but that's okay because I'll be seeing them again on May 6 in Philadelphia. If they don't play those songs at that show, I will personally track down each bandmember and slap them with a trout.

Note: If this Perspective isn't as witty and/or funny as the others, blame it all on Gordon Gano.

Home | Top of Page | Glossary | Contact | The RSS That Feeds