CURRENT ARCHIVE CARTOONS EXTRAS WEB HOLE February 9, 2000 Tastes Great, Less Filling With all the media attention that Nine Inch Nails and The Fragile have been receiving in the past several months, many people who did not previously listen to NIN are now beginning to show interest. However, upon listening to more of the music, some of these people may find certain things (i.e. the lyrics "shoot, shoot, shoot, I'm gonna come all over you," "too fucked up to care anymore," and "let's hear it for Nine Inch Nails, woo, they're good!") to be somewhat offensive, and therefore lose interest and go back to listening to their Creed CD's. U.S. Senator and Presidential hopeful John McCain gave some positive comments about NIN after seeing them at the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards, but after being exposed to more of the music, he seemed to have some second thoughts. The fact is, many who would otherwise enjoy NIN are turned off by little things like oral sex references and crucified monkeys. "But why, Meathead? Why?" No one really knows. We at the Meathead Perspective (a.k.a. "me") recently conducted a telephone survey of 500 Americans, asking them how they feel about references to oral sex and the displaying of monkeys tied to crosses. Then our graphics team (again, me) put together this snazzy pie chart to display the results. As you can see by the nutritional information printed on the back of the Fragile CD case, the album contains fairly high amounts of Profanity, Self-Loathing and Despair (although not as much as 1994's The Downward Spiral). Lately a lot of people are trying to cut back on their bleakness intake, and as a result they'll end up passing up this album for something a little more "safe", like Blue by Third Eye Blind*. Scientific studies by important-looking people in lab coats have shown that people are gravitating more and more toward "upbeat" music. Trent Reznor may not be the most "upbeat" guy in town, but does that mean people can't give his music a chance? Well, maybe it did before, I don't know, but the important thing is that it doesn't now. and now... the pitch Oooh, pastels! Introducing NIN Lite™! Now the music of Nine Inch Nails is accessible to not only you, but also your parents, kids, grandparents, grandkids, pets, church group and co-workers. NIN Lite is perfect for the entire family to listen to without feeling offended by obscenities and bogged down by depressing thoughts. And it comes in such pretty colors! What's different about NIN Lite? · Offensive words like "fuck" and "shit" are replaced with more fun words like "sparkle" and "super". · References to sex and suicide are replaced with references to puppies and kittens. · Remarks against God (see "Heresy" and "The Wretched") are replaced by the delightful chirping of little birdies. · Reznor's intimidating overdriven guitars are replaced with banjos. · The drums are removed, because drums are loud and scary. · Backing vocals by Barney the big purple dinosaur are frequently added to make the songs more kid-friendly. ...and more! At last, a refreshing alternative to the loud abrasiveness of NIN, while still being able to say "Hey, check me out, I'm listening to NIN". And like all other NIN albums, NIN Lite is completely devoid of calories and saturated fat. NIN LITE can be easily found at your local *fuck Third Eye Blind Home | Top of Page | Glossary | Contact | The RSS That Feeds